By Bosede Ola-Samuel
Nature designed humans for sexual pleasure in the playout for procreation. For humans to perpetuate themselves, sexual pleasure becomes inevitable.
It’s a fact of life that to keep engaging in an activity, pleasure stands at the forefront. Without pleasure, many engagements will be experiencing disengagement. That is, human beings will not be actively engaged in certain activities. In essence, pleasure drives men and women in the activities they engage in. That also is the soul of addiction.
I remember this popular local parlance to addiction: “Mo n gbadun re, bi oyinbo ti n gbadun siga”, meaning, “I am enjoying you like a white man enjoys smoking.” This is what is called the habit of chain smoking noticed in white men living in our locality. Is the same pleasure drive applicable to animals, I cannot tell, because I am not one. I speak only concerning human beings, of which I am one.
Now to s3xual pleasure, especially in marriage. It’s an issue of concern. Marriages have been endangered and many dissolved due to lack of sexual pleasure. Couples quarrel over it, and it’s been a source of infidelity. That’s why attention has always been given to the issue of s3xual pleasure in marital relationships. Any married spouse ignoring it or paying lip service to it does so to his or her peril. That’s why discussions about it have remained a recurring decimal.
Not only the discussion about it that is worth referencing, but the many antics engaged in by men and women to attain s3xual pleasure are worthy of note. Humans go to many weird lengths for sxual pleasure: cajoling, threatening, pleading, and even improper and criminal conduct of rape.
The way people risk careers, social status, life attainment, and marriage for s*xual pleasure is quite baffling.
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All the above conduct and risks involved in seeking sxual pleasure account for the reason why married couples must not trivialise the issue of sxual pleasure. Little wonder why it’s one of the grounds or purposes for the conduct of marriage. So, we need to constantly give attention to what borders around sexual pleasure.
Hence the focus on the challenges of dryness and weakness in the attainment of sexual pleasure.
While ‘dryness’ involves the females, ‘weakness’ confronts the males concerning the sex organs.
The sex organs are fashioned by nature in a way to make sexual engagement a dependent act. That is, the proper function of each makes sexual engagement easy and pleasurable. For the female to enjoy sex, the male organ must be firm, while for the male to enjoy it, the female organ must be wet and well-lubricated. Anything short of the above is not only a killer of sexual pleasure, but also leads to disinterested in, or evading of, sexual engagement by married spouses. So, if your spouse is dodging sexual engagement, take a look at the ‘dryness’ and ‘weakness’ of the organs.
When the female organ is dry, it makes the act difficult, hurting and painful, especially for the wife. For the ‘weakness’ of the male organ, sex act becomes an illusion, making it an impossibility.
It’s worth noting that for many, these challenges become pronounced with age. You may want to call it a thing of the ageing process. However, a few may experience them due to biological defects.
As earlier stated, the consequences of the challenges are grave, calling for attention: infidelity, emotional torture, and outright dissolution of marriage. Many caught in the web of this situation wouldn’t have been involved if proper attention had been given to the challenges.
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Reasons why attention was not traditionally given to the challenges include:
*Ignorance about the causes and solutions. Many lack awareness of the causes and the solutions. So, the challenges end up being handled by resigning to fate ─ it’s one’s ‘cross to carry’. So, learn to live with it.
*Shyness about the challenges. It used to be viewed as a shameful thing not to be able to perform s*xually. So, people were not free to express such challenges. Rather, they hide it from others, suffering in silence. History has it that suicidal acts were engaged in by some people who found themselves in such situations, rather than facing the resultant shame.
*Societal limits. S3x never used to be viewed from a pleasurable angle. The only reason why s*x was engaged in used to be for procreation. So, many dared not talk about such challenges. Otherwise, they could be ‘laughed to scorn’. Or could become the subject of name-calling for promiscuity.
However, with civilisation, things have changed, and issues of such challenges are better understood, deliberated and researched on, and better managed.
For dryness, lubricants are available to deal with it. They come in various shades and are readily available in the market. So, whether age-related or not, there is a solution.
Not only that, adequate knowledge of foreplay in sexual engagement plays a major role in getting the wife wet or well-lubricated. Thus, the incidence of dryness is eliminated or reduced to the barest.
When it comes to the ‘weakness’ or lack of strong erection, there are products in the market, both orthodox and herbal remedies, that can be leveraged by husbands. However, caution must never be thrown to the wind about the usage of these products due to some of their side effects. It’s always better to consult professionals in such fields before their usage.
Above all, the understanding of a married couple is still the best solution concerning the challenges of dryness and weakness confronting s3xual pleasure. They should encourage each other, rather than blame, or become irritant of each other. They must cooperate to navigate through the challenges, and if need be, manage the situation, especially if it is due to the ageing process. It can even become a thing of fun in that regard. After all, the memories of past exploits are worth living with. READ ALSO:
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Like in my local parlance, “Bi alagbede o ba fin ina mo, eyiti o ti fin, ko le parun”, meaning, “past exploits cannot be erased in life, even if there is no further accomplishment.” After all, we have traversed the oceanview of it before. So, there are no more territories to conquer; no new ground to cover. There is no type of meat we have not eaten before. So, let’s live by the memories of the past exploits.
These are encouraging phrases that are relevant to the situation of challenges of dryness and weakness confronting sexual pleasure, especially due to the ageing process.
You can avail yourself of copies of my books ‘Enjoying Great S3x Life’ and ‘How To Help Your Wife Enjoy S3x’. Please, contact 08112658560 for details. SMS only.
