By Bosede Ola-Samuel
Some of the things affecting sexual satisfaction in marriage include health challenges and the ageing process. These become extremely worrisome due to the negative impacts on the health of the marriage. This is because sex is one of the major pillars of marriage, and when that pillar becomes damaged, the centre may not hold. Infidelity, children out of wedlock, venereal diseases, divorce, etc., set in.
The challenges cut across both genders. For health challenges, we have to grapple with the increasing rate of cancers — breast, cervical, prostate, colon, etc.; diabetes, arthritis, among others. Ageing challenges, on the other hand, include loss of or poor erection and dryness of the vagina.
We all know that it is when one is healthy that sexual satisfaction will be a card on the table. For healthy partners, sexual desire cannot be wished away. It is a natural call that needs to be addressed. Therefore, when a partner’s health is precarious, sex becomes the last thing to be desired. In fact, it is only the great love and understanding of a couple, in such a situation, that can sustain them. This is a serious issue that needs to be addressed adequately. This becomes necessary because of the growing health challenges couples face as they age ‘gracefully’.
The following information I will pass here will be of great help to those concerned.
In dealing with health challenges, let me state that they are of different shades and colours. They include cancer of the breast, lung, throat, etc.; prostate cancer, cervical cancer, and others. They may also include health challenges of a common nature, such as malaria, cold, and the like.
Every couple must devise means of rising above them to enjoy s3x. In a recent situation, a wife complained that her husband had not touched her sexually for months due to prostate cancer-related treatment, leading him to lose his erection temporarily.
The issue is that the couple must show a great understanding of their situation. Despite the loss of erection, there are other things the husband can do to let his wife reach orgasm. He needs to withdraw from touching his wife s3xually. All those touches will work for his wife to be sexually satisfied. The wife must also be patient with him, to encourage him for the needful sexual touches that will give both of them sexual satisfaction.
READ ASLO: How to sexually handle your spouse, by Bosede Ola-Samuel
In the case of a situation where the health challenge does not allow for such sexual fondling, couples must employ care and love to fill in the gap. The use of s3x toys could serve as a means of achieving s3xual satisfaction for them. However, this must be maturely handled not to make a partner feel bad or guilty about his/her failing health. The healthy one may also be coming across as being inconsiderate. It, therefore, behoves the healthy spouse to be discreet about his or her sex needs and the use of such sex toys to reduce the strain of the health challenge on his or her spouse.
In the case of sex being practically impossible due to pains from ailments, the couple must allow love to prevail over their sexual desire. Since s3x is a thing of the mind, the couple’s concern about the suffering of the sick partner will weigh the mind down, such that the desire for sex becomes secondary. With this, the couple should be able to pull through without s3x.
I knew of a case in which, within a space of two years, a spouse had to stay out of s3x due to the health challenge of his wife. As difficult as this may come across to many, the husband was able to cope due to the concern he had for his wife pulling through the situation. However, in reality, it could lead a partner to extramarital affairs. This could be heartbreaking for the sick partner if the cat is let out of the bag. We have instances where this played out in some relationships, and it was a death blow to the sick partners.
I believe strongly that couples should show a high level of consideration for the ailing partner by exercising self-control while it lasts. Such understanding and control might just be what will give the sick partner the staying power to pull through miraculously, knowing that there is someone worth living for. Alternatively, it may soothe the pains of departing this world with the succour of love.
Conclusively, no challenge should be able to stop us from enjoying s3x as a physical activity or as a feeling of love in our hearts. This is why couples need to make their sex life a love-making one, rather than just a s3xual activity. Love-making, if built into the s3xual life of a couple, provides the staying power to pull through health challenges, including the ageing process. With great understanding and self-control, we will be able to pull through.
Another point of consideration is to seek medical solutions to the challenges. I have discovered that many of the aging ailments have medical solutions, and are better handled if early solutions are sought through medicine.
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May God save us all from various challenges that can hinder us from enjoying one of the most important activities in marriage. It is my prayer that those facing such health challenges will be helped by God to pull through successfully.
My books ‘Enjoying Great S3x Life’ and ‘How To Help Your Wife Enjoy S3x’, are still available for sale. Please, contact me at 08112658560 for details. SMS only.
