Sex is central to the survival of every marriage. Once sex is not available or inadequate in marriage, the relationship becomes endangered. Today, the infidelity of married couples has reached such an alarming stage that no effort should be spared to handle everything responsible for the sex deficit. This is why I am writing about how married couples can handle themselves sexually for maximum satisfaction.
Sexual fulfilment requires a couple to master how to handle each other’s bodies. Without this, sex will be a duty-bound exercise, rather than a lovemaking adventure. There is a way you can handle your spouse that will make room for sexual fulfilment. This varies between husband and wife.
Let’s consider the ways a wife should be sexually handled.
How to sexually handle a wife
Emotionally: Give her peace of mind since her first sex organ is her mind. How this plays out is to ensure that conflict is minimised in your relationship. Also, conflict resolution must be given topmost priority. Don’t expect great sex when your wife is upset with you. She will never be in her best sexual mood when she is not happy with you.
Foreplay: This is the foundation for sexual engagement. It’s due to the difference between a male and a female with respect to sexual response. A man’s response is quick and immediate, while that of a female is slow and non-spontaneous. So, there is a need to put the wife in the mood for sex well ahead of the time for the act. This must be well understood by couples, and building their sex act around it gives mutual fulfilment to the partners.
Sex Channels: There are spots on the body that make a man or woman turn jelly for sex. It may be the inner thighs, buttocks, earlobe, breasts, male and female sex organs, etc. Anyone who enjoys regular sex must master such spots on the body of his or her spouse, especially the wife. That’s why wives are often called pretenders when it comes to the matter of sex. Once you press her turn-on button, she will cringe for you in bed, making you wonder where “I’m tired” had disappeared to. You must communicate how you want to be touched for maximum sexual experience. This gets the job done easily. A wife who will put up a great performance in bed must be touched where it turns her on the most.
Sex styles or positions: Sex has gone beyond the traditional approach of ‘husband on top’ for sex. This is the most common type of position couples use for sex. However, more positions produce maximum pleasure in bed. Couples must thus have conversations around the styles that best suit them for mutual sexual satisfaction. For a wife, there is a sex position that gives her an orgasm. Therefore, the husband must know it and exploit it to their best advantage in the sex act.
READ ALSO: The power of good sex in marriage, by Bosede Ola-Samuel
Locations for sexual engagement: Traditionally, the sleeping object of mats or beds used to be the only acceptable place for sex. However, experience has taught us that sex can be great fun and excitement if it takes place in other places, like on a chair or couch, table top, sitting room, kitchen, bathroom, etc. As long as it’s comfortable and safe, without compromising privacy, sex is okay in any place you mutually agree on. When a wife is placed at the location where she enjoys sex the most, she will give her best in the act.
For the husband
Giving him direction in the act, such as spots to touch, enhances his performance in bed. So, a wife should actively engage him on this.
Being active in bed helps a husband to enjoy sex more, and to also go all out to help his wife enjoy sex. A wife should not be a log of wood in bed with her husband. Rather, she must be an active participant. She shouldn’t put up the attitude of “Do whatever you want to do quickly, and leave me alone.” But, she should follow along with her husband in the act.
Both husband and wife must know their sex turn-offs to give sexual fulfilment to each other. Dirty appearance, dirty inner wear, unkempt hairstyles, bad odour, etc., can be bad for sexual engagement. You should try to look nice, smell nice, and be clean. Stop carrying dirty inners around, and learn to understand that armpit and vagina hairs need to be shaved or trimmed. It’s so annoying that some of us smell badly inside there, which comes as a distraction for sex.
These are some of the ways that married couples can handle themselves sexually to have sexual fulfilment.
When the ageing process sets in, couples must learn the rudiments of sexual enjoyment in that phase of their lives, without allowing frustration to set in.
For a wife, you have to bear with him when the erection is not rock-solid. Instead of getting frustrated, you have to learn the art of kick-starting the “engine” using your fingers. And when it doesn’t work, make do with the fingering and work towards getting better results next time.
For the husband, note that the dryness of the vagina makes sex a difficult and painful experience for your wife. So, bear with her when she dodges at times. Then, encourage her with water-based jelly to make penetration easier for you and less painful for her.
Cooperation is the key to a mutual sexual fulfilment in marriage, and this must not be compromised.
You can avail yourself of copies of my books, ‘Enjoying Great Sex Life’ and ‘How To Help Your Wife Enjoy Sex’. Please contact 08112658560 for details. SMS only.
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