By Bosede Ola-Samuel
One marital challenge that is impacting s3xual satisfaction in marriage is health challenge. This is becoming extremely worrisome due to the increasing rate of cancers ─ breast, cervical, prostate, colon, etc. ─ in our society. It is when one is healthy that s3xual satisfaction will be a card on the table. Yet, for healthy partners, sexual desire cannot be wished away. It is a natural call that has to be dealt with.
When a partner’s health is precarious, s3x is the last thing to be desired. In fact, it is only the great love and understanding of a couple, in such a situation, that can sustain them. It is a serious issue of concern that needs to be addressed adequately. This becomes necessary because of the growing health challenges couples face as they age ‘gracefully’.
The following information I will pass here will be of great help to those concerned.
In dealing with health challenges, let me state that this is of different shades and colours. It includes cancer of the breast, lung, throat, etc; prostate cancer, cervical cancer, and others ─ even, for health challenges of the common nature, such as malaria, cold, and the like.
READ ALSO: Navigating through s3x-starving by wives, by Bosede Ola-Samuel
Every couple must have to devise means of rising above them to enjoy s3x. In a recent situation, a wife complained that her husband had not touched her s3xually for months, due to prostate cancer-related treatment, leading him to lose his erection, temporarily.
The issue is that the couple must show a great understanding of their situation. Despite the loss of erection, there are other things the husband can do to let his wife reach orgasm. He needs not to withdraw from touching his wife s3xually. All those touches will work for his wife to be s3xually satisfied. The wife must also be patient with him, to encourage him for the needful s3xual touches that will give both of them s3xual satisfaction.
In the case of a situation where the health challenge does not allow for such sexual fondling, couples must employ caring love to fill in the gap. The use of sex toys could serve as a means of achieving s3xual satisfaction for them. However, this must be maturely handled in order not to make a partner feel bad or guilty about his/her failing health. The healthy one may also be coming across as being inconsiderate.
It, therefore, behoves the healthy spouse to be discreet about his or her sex needs and the use of such s3x toys to reduce the strain of the health challenge on his or her spouse.
In the case of sex being practically impossible due to pains from ailments, the couple must allow love to prevail above their sexual desire. Since s3x is a thing of the mind, the couple’s concern about the suffering of the sick partner will weigh the mind down, such that the desire for sex becomes secondary. With this, the couple should be able to pull through without s3x.
I knew of a case in which for a space of two years, a spouse had to stay out of s3x due to the health challenge of his wife. As difficult as this may come across to many, the husband was able to cope due to the concern he had for his wife pulling through the situation.
READ ALSO: Prioritising marital s3xual intimacy, by Bosede Ola-Samuel
However, in reality, it could lead a partner to extramarital affairs. This could be heartbreaking for the sick partner if the cat is let out of the bag. We have instances where this played out in some relationships, and it was a death blow to the sick partners.
I believe strongly that couples should show a high level of consideration for the ailing partner by exercising self-control while it lasts. Such understanding and control might just be what will give the sick partner the staying power to pull through miraculously, knowing that there is someone worth living for. Alternatively, it may sooth the pains of departing this world, with the succour of love.
Conclusively, no challenge should be able to stop us from enjoying s3x as a physical activity or as a feeling of love in our hearts. This is why couples need to make their sex life a love-making one, rather than just a sexual activity. Love-making, if built into the s3xual life of a couple, provides the staying power to pull through health challenges, including the ageing process. With great understanding and self-control, we will be able to pull through.
May God save us all from various challenges that can hinder us from enjoying one of the most important activities in marriage.
It is my prayer that those facing such health challenges will be helped by God to pull through successfully.
My books ‘Enjoying Great S3x Life’ and ‘How To Help Your Wife Enjoy S3x’, are still available for sale. Please, contact me for details on 08112658560. SMS only.
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