I got the motivation for this write up during the week through a cartoon online showing a husband telling his wife that it had been four weeks of no s3x, and the wife was refusing him again, on the excuse of being tired. What a frustrating look the husband wore at that point. I quickly leach on the inspiration for this writeup, as a way of helping those of us who may be passing through s3x starvation in our marriage.
Let me start by emphasizing again that s3x is the life wire of every marriage. It’s one of the usually canvassed purposes of marriage. Not only that, it’s also the only activity between husband and wife that cannot be willingly delegated to others. It is strictly duty bound for married couples to engage in s3x as often as possible.
However, experiences of s3x starved marriages abound, especially that of the wives being the greatest culprits in this wise. Many husbands are ever complaining of being at the mercy of their wives for s3xual intimacy. It stems from pleading and promising gratification, through inadequate s3x, to total starvation. This is not healthy for the marriage, and we need to do all to navigate through it. One cannot but wonder about this issue of sexual starvation considering the fact that s3x is a high point of enjoyment for both partners. So, one definitely have to be curious for the wife to starve her husband of s3x, when she also enjoys it.
Poor s3xual advance strategies.
Sex is a thing that should be approached appropriately in dealing with women if you will experience mutual sexual pleasure that will make sex not to be an occasional thing. This is due to the way a woman is wired. She needs to be prepared ahead to engage in sex. She is not cut out for the fire brigade approach to s3x. Many men just want to jump into bed for sex with their wives for s3x, at the slightest opportunity, without consideration for her feelings, or whether she will enjoy it or not. A wife told me that anytime her husband wanted sex, it used to be a soldier-like approach. He would just pounce on her at will. Or he would just call her, saying, “come here, remove your dress”. And that would be it. Today, that marriage is into separation mode from the sex starving mode. Such a bad approach to engage in s3x will make a wife to starve her husband of sex or bolt away from the marriage for the slightest reason. My book, Enjoying Great Sex Life, is a master piece in dealing with this issue.
READ ALSO: Prioritising marital s3xual intimacy, by Bosede Ola-Samuel
Poor s3xual performance
When a man performs badly in bed, sexually, it’s an invitation to starvation from his wife apart from yielding to temptation. A lot of men perform poorly in bed, such that their wives don’t enjoy them sexually, thus discouraging their wives from engaging in s3x with them. Husbands must therefore upgrade their sexual performance by learning not only how to make a woman enjoy s3x, but also how to make their own wives enjoy s3x. Sexual responses have individual specifics aside the general ones. This is something husbands must be able to navigate through for great sex to happen in marriage.
Staying too long in financial stress
Take it or leave it, finance plays a great role in the success of a marriage. A financially stressed marriage is an endangered relationship and will suffer many ills. This becomes very obvious when the financial stress goes on for a long period of time. That’s why I counsel married couples not to be financially empowered if the marriage will not suffer. A married couple could not engage in s3x for more than two years because the husband was no longer bringing food to the table, and the wife was not able to adequately cover up for the family. Is it right? Absolutely not. But the reality is that a financially stressed marriage will make many things, including sex, difficult for the couple. In the marriage under reference, s3x became absent because the husband switched off after many refusals from the wife with accompanying comments like “all that we get is just s3xual demands”; “ an empty stomach cannot accommodate s3x o”. The reality is that a woman cannot survive for a long time without finance, whether from her husband or from her own. She doesn’t mind footing bills if her husband has challenges. But if she is also financially incapable of covering up, then there will be fire on the mountain. So, married couples must empower their marriage with finance.
READ ALSO: Emotional intelligence and great s3x life, by Bosede Ola-Samuel
Deep-seated bitterness
This can stem from maltreatment, insensitivity to feelings, unsettled dispute, etc. When this builds up over time, it affects both s3xual performance and responses to sexual advances in the marriage, especially with the wife, whose number one s3x organ is the mind. This is a strong conspiracy against frequency of sex in marriage. You may have to engage in a soul-searching exercise to discover this, and navigate through it. Deep-seated bitterness will not make for emotional connection which is highly essential for enjoying great sex life. That’s why a wife just refuse to be active in sexual activity with her husband, lying down like a log of wood, when she cannot starve him in the marriage. This is the reason why what goes on in many marriages is just s3x act as opposed to love making. These are two different things and a topic for another day. If you get my two books on s3x for the married, navigating through these issues will not be a problem at all, once you are ready to work with the information available in the books.
Menopausal issues of dryness and other health-related issues.
One sad thing is that a wife may have health challenges which her husband may not be privy to, especially if he is highly insensitive or the “boss” (lord and master) of the family. It happens often with troubled marriages. Aside this, menopausal challenges can make a wife to starve her husband of sex due to inconveniences involved in s3xual act during this period. This becomes more pronounced when the couple is ill informed about menopausal challenges and old age issues with reference to sexual intimacy. The dryness of her down there in and his weak or no erection can make a wife not to be in the mood for sexual intimacy. This can be a serious challenge if the couple doesn’t cooperate to navigate through this stage of their marriage
I believe that the above will serve as pointers to the sexual starvation husbands suffer from their wives, and how to navigate through it in order to experience great sex afresh in the marriage.
You can avail yourself of copies of my books enjoying great s3x life and how to help your wife enjoy s3x. Contact 08112658560 for details. SMS only, please.
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