The desire of two persons going into a marriage, together with their families, friends, and well-wishers, is that the marriage will be forever. However, this desire will not come to pass automatically. The parties have things to do if it will be forever. If you see any marriage that lasts for years, it is made possible by the choices of the couple. It’s a case of “as you lay your bed, so will you lie on it”. If your marriage lasts forever, till death do you part, living happily hereafter, it will have to be due to the commitment of you and your spouse.
Most of the time, before two people get married, they are ‘head over heels’ in love with each other. But no sooner after they get married, the love may begin to fade away. The force of love attracts two people to one another. This force, to an extent, is something that is inevitable. You “fell” in love with the lady/man you are now married to, not because you chose to do so. It just happened. It was not something you had control over. But staying or remaining in love with your spouse is something that will happen because you want it to happen. That is to say, it will take a conscious effort. That you “fell” for him/her effortlessly does not suggest that you will remain loving him/her effortlessly. It will have to take a conscious effort on your side.
Husbands and wives must consciously do things that will sustain their love for one another. Just as you maintain your vehicle so that it continually serves you the way you desire, your love for your spouse must also be maintained. Lack of maintenance culture has ruined many marriages. The phrase “fall in love” is generally used to describe a love that is strong, although not necessarily permanent.
To stay in love and enjoy a lasting marriage, the following major choices will have to be made by couples:
Pay attention to your spouse
To neglect something is to fail to pay attention to that thing, and whatever we refuse to pay attention to, we lose. When a couple fails to pay attention to each other, over time, they lose their feelings for one another. Attention is something everyone looks forward to from his/her spouse because it is one of the attributes of love.
Avoid taking your spouse for granted
To take your spouse for granted is to be so used to him/her that you do not recognise his/her true value anymore and, as a result, do not show that you are grateful for him/her any longer. This is a sin many couples are guilty of, and it is one thing that can kill our love for one another. You must learn to appreciate your spouse.
Cultivate friendship with your spouse
Love between a couple is promoted when they cultivate friendship with one another. Do things that friends do — friends respect one another’s opinion, gist together, spend time together, laugh with one another, protect one another, etc. The moment a man and a woman are married, they should have no one else as their best friend other than their spouse.
Communicate with your spouse
Communication is one of the bedrocks of a good marriage. Communication promotes love. Every divorce in the law court begins with a breakdown in communication between the couple. Whatever is going on between a couple, as long as they can still sit down and talk it over, there will always be a way out of it. You have to choose to give good communication a place of priority in your marriage.
Leave no conflict unresolved
Conflict resolution between couples is one thing that cannot be overlooked. Couples that will stay in love must learn to resolve every conflict that arises in their home and resolve it the right way.
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Make lovemaking something you both look forward to
Your sexual relationship with your spouse plays a very important role in your love life. Sex is God’s own gift to married couples for the consummation of their love for one another. A couple that will remain in love with one another after several years of being married must enjoy great sex.
Love must be guarded jealously and consciously sustained, if it is not to be lost, and if the marriage will last forever.
Therefore, invest in things that will protect and promote your relationship with your spouse. It’s your choice.
You can avail yourself of copies of my books, ‘Enjoying Great Sex Life’, and ‘How To Help Your Wife Enjoy Sex’. Contact 08112658560 for details. SMS only, please.
