A relationship Counselor, Mrs Fatima Murtala, has described marriage as a solid ground where one’s patience, loyalty, trust, commitment, and forgiveness are consecutively tested.
Murtala said this in an an interview with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) on Saturday in Kaduna.
She said this while responding to the trending topic surrounding Moroccan footballer, Achraf Hakimi, whose wife, Hiba Abouk, purportedly filed for divorce from him.
She had requested half of his property but got nothing because his properties were in his mother’s name.
The PSG and Morocco right-back was charged with rape by the French authorities after he was accused by a girlfriend in March.
NAN reports that the topic, which hit the social media space on April 14, had generated multiple opinions, arguments and emotions by men and women who were in support or otherwise of Hakimi’s actions.
According to Murtala, a man is either loved for his heart, social status or money, adding that it would only take a wise man to know what he was loved for by his woman.
“For those men who are wise, once they figure out they are loved for their wealth, they look for better options in securing it. The truth is, only few men are truly loved for their heart,” she said.
She, however, noted that infidelity was almost the case of every home, adding that it only took disciplined, wise and men committed to their marriage not to cheat on their wives.
“Cheating on one’s spouse mostly doesn’t mean the spouse Is no longer In love/doesn’t value his/her marriage.
“In most cases cheating just happen without reasons, majority will tell you men are polygamous in nature and that makes them open to varieties (sleeping with different women even after marriage).
“Most times, cheating happens because of peer pressure (wanting to prove to one’s friend that one is man enough/can play the game too),”Murtala said.
She noted that Hakimi, also being a man, could be an infidel.
“He knows his background well even though he now has a better status; he is also fully aware that there would be no better person that will accept him even in his worst days as a man, better than his family.”/
“He is also aware that his family gave up everything to help him become who he is today.
“Hakimi has earlier dedicated his life to making it up for every sacrifice his family made for him; every woman/mother would admire this and which he might not necessarily want to share with any woman who didn’t really knew how he climbed up the ladder.”
Speaking further, Murtala also noted that marriage had happy and sad days, noting that couples made mistakes, fought and even stopped talking to each other for a while.
“In this ugly phases of marriage, one’s loyalty is tested, no woman/man will ever invest in a spouse that they know might leave/divorce them at some point in the Marriage.
“In the ugly phases of marriage, a man/woman can tell the real intent of their spouse. Divorce should never be an option, but when the problems become too much, most spouse opt for it,” she added.
According to her, Hakimi’s wife may have let her emotions overpower her in her situation.
“I am not supporting the actions of her husband, but what If all of his infidelities were happening right under her nose and he didn’t allow a trace of it, he could have played his game well without allowing his wife to know,” she said.
Speaking on the alleged rape against Hakimi, she said: “What has she done to protect her husband’s name, even if he was to be guilty, marriage should be through thick and thin.
“Some husbands have done worst and their wives did all they could to protect them and their marriage.
“Hakimi is only but a human; he is very young, at 24 not every man can set straight priorities.
“It mostly begins at 30/35; he is good looking, agile and rich, now truly she could have expected this as the worst that could come from him and also prepare for a better strategy to protect him; If not I could say she was waiting for this day to strike.
“There Is never a marriage without consistent patience and forgiveness.
“Most marriages we admire today have gone through hell and back, and they stood by each other and that Is why others could get a perfect picture of them,” Murtala said.
The Counselor further said that Hakimi played fast on his wife.
” I only can say I see a cultured man, who didn’t forget his root and with time, when he finally meets a woman that would love him even for just being a human, he would give his life, wealth, body and soul to that woman.
“Every man submit where they are truly accepted. Hakimi did not file for divorce, his wife did.
“As a rich football player, he has seen such cases in the life of other players, maybe he wouldn’t want to loose all he has ever worked for in one day because he is married.
“Hakimi well understands that marriage should help him grow, and if it wouldn’t, he had looked for other measures to protect himself and everything he has ever worked for, every smart person in his case would do more,” she said
The counselor urged women to be prayerful and patient, advising them to always be ready to receiving cases of infidelity from their husbands and being smart enough to strategise in protecting them.
“The fact that your spouse got involved in infidelity does not necessarily mean he loves you less, marriage is not bed of roses, there are good and bad days, in most cases you record worst days in it.
“As long as your husband does not hit you, abandon you financially, sexually, emotionally and physically, your marriage can still work,” Murtala said.(NAN)
