One major marital activity is sex. It is one of the major reasons always being canvassed for getting married. Why should sex be a reason for getting married? Sex is a universally acknowledged need of human beings. Both males and females are naturally endowed with sexual need. Like every other human need, failure to meet it leaves a vacuum in the lives of people.
So, marriage gives people the opportunity to adequately, safely, and regularly meet the sexual needs of human beings. Sex outside marriage may engender conflicts among people because it becomes a free-for-all, without anyone having legal or societal rights over others. An unmarried man or woman is a no man’s land that anyone can have free sexual access to once there is mutual consent.
It is therefore important to ensure that the sexual needs are met by each couple. Anything contrary to sexual fulfilment creates a vacuum in the life of each partner, for which avenue for meeting it will have to be sought. Otherwise, such a victim, failure to meet that need, will suffer in silence. That is why extramarital affairs and divorce rates are growing with leaps and bounds. These two have become a way of escape for many married partners. For the ‘I cannot come and die’ partners, extramarital affairs are the way out; while for the faithful ones, divorce is the answer to their sexual need.
So, head or tail, the sexual needs of married couples must be met.
Sexual needs were misunderstood for a long time in our society to mean the ‘rise and sink’ stuff. That is, man, being able to access the female organ of his wife. What a misadventure. This is a sexual or over-the-bar shot. Sexual needs in humans are far beyond that of ‘rise and sink’ stuff, which does not guarantee that the sexual needs are being met. Rather, it heightens the desire for the sexual needs to be met, especially for women.
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Sexual fulfilment is the only guarantee for meeting the sexual needs in humans. That is, sexual fulfilment is what brings satisfaction to humans. Just like eating any food that one gets does not necessarily bring satisfaction, so also is the case with sexual needs.
In today’s Nigeria, a lot of people are not satisfied, though they eat. Why? They eat what they get and is affordable, not what they love to eat or what gives them satisfaction. That is the case of a lack of sexual fulfilment.
When couples have sex without satisfaction, regularly, the way it is desired, it makes the sexual needs unfulfilled. Unfortunately, sexual fulfilment is not inborn, but learnable and teachable. You will have to discover what to do to sexually fulfil your spouse.
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All the conflicts experienced by couples are mainly traceable to the failure to meet the sexual needs in the marriage. It sets partners on edge, become so touchy, irritable and difficult to live with each other.
Do you now have a picture of why couples must work assiduously towards being sexually fulfilled in the marriage? The benefits are enormous and bring lasting peace to the marriage.
So, let us go all out to meet the sexual needs of humans for which marriage is being consummated. How to achieve this will be our focus in subsequent editions of this column.
My books, ‘Enjoying Great Sex Life’ and ‘How To Help Your Wife Enjoy Sex’, are essential, worthy manuals for sexual fulfilment in marriage. You can contact 08112658560 for details. SMS only, please.
