By Ekene Ezebuike
When Dele Farotimi described Nyesom Wike as the aspiring Adolf Hitler of Obio-Akpor, he was not entirely wrong. Wike may not have plans to forge a Fourth Reich and conquer the world, but just like the dreaded Furher, the FCT Minister has a fiery temper. And since the emperor of the FCT recently picked on the street beggars in Abuja, I have not slept soundly. Not that I am a beggar or have relatives who beg on the streets of Abuja. I am only worried that, just like the Fuhrer, Wike may well decide to build concentration camps in the outskirts of Abuja and send the annoying beggers there as a final solution. I kid.
Now, jokes apart, through his every utterance and gimmick, the FCT minister seems to point out to Nigerians that he is more than a mere mortal and is absolutely above the law. And since the law does not exist for the likes of the FCT minister, then he should properly be designated as a diety and have a shrine erected in his honour somewhere in Abuja or Port Harcourt. No, not Port Harcourt. Sim Fubara could tear down the shrine after he is done with the psychiatric hospital he intends to build. Abuja would be ideal. Honestly, it is truly a miracle that Wike’s incindiary breath has not yet set the entire nation on fire.
Wike has successfully shattered the myth that public figures and political officeholders have to uphold decorum and serve as role models. Good example be damned! The man has proven that in Nigerian politics, recklessness is a prerequisite. Like an octopus, he spreads his tentacles and wage war on different fronts simultaneously. There is a tentacle dealing with Fubara in Rivers State, a tentacle holding the entire PDP hostage, a tentacle dealing with ‘land grabbers’ in the FCT, a tentacle planning on how to expel the beggers on the streets of Abuja and finally a tentacle fixing to ‘put fire’ in some states.
To think that Wike aspires to become the president of Nigeria one day is enough reason to suffer a heart attack. Dino Melaye addressed this issue during his April 2023 interview on Arise TV, describing Wike’s presidential ambition as myopic and intellectually stagnant. Entrusting Nigeria into the hands of a man with a fabled propensity for violence and recklessness would be tantamount to erasing Nigeria from the world map. Who would stop him from disbanding the already inept INEC and appointing governors for the 36 states?
Wike has through plain words and innuendos declared that he singlehandedly installed Sim Fubara as the governor of Rivers State (and would rectify the mistake in the next election cycle), and the Independent National Electoral Commission has yet to respond to this claim. One begins to wonder exactly what the function of INEC is and the essence of voting if one man can arbitrary decide who becomes governor.
The conduct of the FCT Minister is a constant reminder that the ‘Honourable’ and ‘Excellency’ that prefix the names of politicians are completely without meaning. When judged entirely by the content of his character, the average Nigerian politician is no different from street thugs and ‘motor park touts’. When we look beyond the excellently-tailored agbadas and glistening accessories, sleek cars and retinue of unnecessary aids, all that is left are men who are uncivilised as they are aloof.
What could possibly be honourable or excellent about a man who constantly threatens fire and brimstone upon those who disagree with him, including members of his own political party? Where is the honour or excellence in insinuating that you can singlehandedly install and uninstall the governor of Rivers State irrespective of how the people vote? What is honourable in declaring that you would incite mayhem and political crisis in some states?
A few days ago, a video surfaced on the internet where the FCT Minister was threatening Armageddon upon some alleged land grabbers in Abuja. As expected, the emperor was generous with threats and accusations. He is seen in the video accusing the group of possession of firearms and even dared them to go and bring their guns. ‘If you think that you take something, you’re not the only one,’ the FCT minister concluded as he left the scene. Are these the sort of words that should be expected from an honourable minister? Well, let us hope someone in the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) has seen this video.
Wike’s ability to take on several opponents simultaneously is legendary. In one swift move, he recently took on Atiku Abubakar and Peter Obi. While the former described him as a gutter dweller whom he would not descend into the gutter with, the latter had refused to dignify Wike with a response. But the emperor with an incindiary breath does not need a response. His appetite for conflict cannot be extinguished with a refusal to reply. Such is the nature of the emperor with many tentacles.
As we await the next episode from the fiery emperor (and I know we will not wait long), we must be reminded that the FCT Minister is only a microcosm of our ruling class – a group of people who see politics as a process of transfiguration to become deities, completely unaccountable to anyone. It is easy to single the emperor out and condemn his actions. But we ought to be thankful to him for constantly reminding us that in Nigeria, the law applies to mere mortals and not the gods of the political arena.
Ekene Ezebuike, mystaheze@gmail.com
