By Bosede Ola-Samuel
Infidelity has continued to play a disastrous role in the marriage institution these days, more than ever before. I mentioned in one of my recent write-ups that infidelity is a ground for marital conflict – and, as such, it must be dealt with. However, the best way to deal with it is for married couples to make it an exception rather than a rule. I did mention that it is an issue that is difficult to deal with in marital conflict resolution, especially by men.
Just two weeks ago, it was reported in the news that a prominent wealthy businessman murdered his wife and committed suicide because of his wife’s infidelity. What a sad occurrence.
One is forced to ask: Why has infidelity become ‘two a penny’ in our society? It is becoming increasingly difficult to keep this monster out of the marriage institution. This is because it has become easy to procure these days. Why this is so and the way out is the focus of this write-up. “Igboro ti Daru gan ni o” (The days are evil indeed). One can almost swear that no marriage is immune against this monster destroying lives and marriages. Or, at best, only a small percentage of marriages are spared of infidelity engagement.
A lot of factors make infidelity easily accessible these days, and some of them are enumerated below:
*Increased nudity and immoral visual assault
Nudity has become the norm these days. What used to be offensive to the mortal eyes is no longer an issue. So, the eyes of society constantly behold lust. Hence, lustful assault is unleashed on us, becoming a gateway to unrestricted s*x. The eyes play a major role in sexual engagement, and this is what nudity is taking advantage of.
A few days ago, I watched a video clip on social media in which a lady wore jean trousers with holes at the back, revealing her buttocks and the rope-like pants she wore. What a horrible site to behold.
*Economic stimulus encouraging infidelity
Global economic recession is impacting negatively on s*xual purity. Many people are being pushed into s*xual engagement without boundaries as a result of the prevailing harsh economic conditions. Survival, rather than commitment to moral values, has taken the central stage in our society.
Job situations that are taking people out of their immediate family homes, making many married couples become absentee husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, have contributed to the growth of infidelity in society. We have increasingly moved away from the weekend husband/wife slogan to month-end husband/wife status. This makes married couples more vulnerable and easily susceptible to infidelity.
READ ALSO: Irregular Sex: Wives are also crying, by Bosede Ola-Samuel
*Increased s*xual knowledge
At the push of one button on our phones, handsets, computers, and television sets, s*xual information without boundaries is made available. It is so bad to the extent that its aberrations are presented as well. So, “one” is fully loaded to engage in s*x and its aberrations with ease. Knowledge is key to engaging in many things, including sex. Knowing what to do in a s*x act with ease, has promoted infidelity in marriage.
*Growing number of divorced persons and single parents
Many people have come to embrace the status of divorce and single parents. It is becoming increasingly acceptable for one to eat his or her cake and still keep it. One can easily have children outside marriage, and divorce status is gradually finding acceptance with ease. This has impacted negatively on the sanctity of marriage, leaving society with an army of divorced or single parents. We cannot pretend that this is not impacting the sanctity of marriage, even though many attain such a status with no fault of theirs.
*Unfulfilled marital expectations
A lot of married people have unrealised marital expectations that they are now searching for outside marriage. Many factors such as wrong marital purpose, personality disorder, economic downturn, etc. are the culprit in this wise. So, the search for the unfulfilled desires in many areas have taken over many married couples, such that the search is extended to impossible places where even the angels fear to tread.
*Loose friendship and family boundaries
Our society has become careless about relationship boundaries. Friends’ visitation in the absence of married spouses and live-in family members of the opposite s*x have become rampant. As such, ample opportunities present themselves for infidelity. That is why we have increased occurrence of friends sleeping with the spouses of themselves.
READ ALSO: Motivation for regular sex in marriage, By Bosede Ola-Samuel
A friend can visit the house of another friend in the absence of his or her married spouse. This makes it easier for people to engage in infidelity. Not only that, live-in family members have been caught “in the very act” with wives and husbands of brothers and sisters, cousins and nieces, etc.
It is like ‘hell’ has been let loose in society based on the alarming rate of infidelity involving family members and friends. These are people one could almost swear that they would not walk in the periphery of such behaviour. But, Alas! it’s not the case anymore.
*Break down of societal moral values
The moral value system of many societies has become eroded in many areas, including s*x. What many societies would frown upon as immoral, is brazenly engaged in today. It is like our societies have gone mad! The untouchables are being touched with impunity, with little or no consequences. So, immoral acts keep thriving among us.
Do we now see the need for us to wear face masks, so that we do not breathe in infidelity in the air pervading our environment? It means we have to be deliberate in confronting these factors of infidelity among others. We can no longer afford to be careless in conducting our relationships, both at friendship and family levels. Boundaries must be put in place to make infidelity engagement difficult, if not impossible. Why will I visit my friend’s husband alone in her absence? and vice versa? The days are evil, and we can no longer pretend about it. This is the cry today, and we must not shy away from shouting it on the mountains, over the hills, and everywhere that infidelity is in the air.
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If a nose mask was needed to combat COVID-19 − infidelity deserves no less. Go get your mask! The days are evil. Our insanity must be cured while our sanity must be restored on all fronts in the marriage institution.
You can avail yourself of copies of my books, ‘Enjoying Great Sx Life’ and ‘How to Help Your Wife Enjoy Sx’. Contact 08112658560 for details. SMS only.
