I am a fan of our former First Lady Dame Patience Faka Jonathan, former President of the all-powerful Wives of African Presidents and Prime Ministers Association [WAPPA] [my own coinage] former Permanent Secretary in the state of Bayelsa, and former Chairperson and Matron of uncountable NGOs and of course the one and only publicly paraded, publicly quoted wife of our own amiable former President Goodluck Jonathan.
Two years ago I announced on the pages of the City People Magazine that I was in love with Dame Patience Jonathan. There were no pretences about my declaration. I followed it up with reasons for my falling in love. It was the aftermath of her public declaration that she was indeed ill and that she almost passed out on a number of occasions. She gave a public lie to all the lies and cover-ups of the officialdom which claimed that she was hale and hearty while she was in fact on routine visits to surgical theatre where, according to her courageous account, she had been opened up more than 13 times!
Yes I fell in love knowing fully well that falling in love does not constitute an offence; it is the next steps you take after falling in love that can reward you with an amorous intimacy or earn you a dirty slap or in the extreme, a jail term! And I was certain the then President would not bother to send the police to my house.
I thought I should leave matters of economics, the economy, politics and governance out of my way today and give heart its own delight this Sunday. The Christmas moments have passed and the New Year is knocking at the gate, and yet no major events to crack our ribs with laughter, no theatricalities, no unusual movements in the Seat of power.
I miss our Dame, full of humour and predictable ‘unpredictabilities’. A lady of unequalled energy and noticeable presence, Dame Patience is not one that can be ignored in any gathering. Full of witticisms and spontaneity, Madam Jonathan is ever so quick to respond to any eventuality. Her answers are always on her finger tips. If you dare cross her path, you are on your own.
Mrs Jonathan is not a pretender. She does not care for the so-called ‘political correctness’. She calls a spade a spade and you can go to hell if you do not like her characteristic bluntness. The good thing about Dame Jonathan is that you know where you stand with her or where she stands with you. She is not given to deceit or double-speak or back biting. And she is bold!
You may begin to wonder why I miss her and why I believe she should occupy my column today as my veritable guest. Madam Patience is like no other one in public glare. She does not care for Lexis and Structure when it comes to English grammar. And who cares? Who should bother about a language that is not straightforward?
Dame Jonathan is a very straightforward person. So if English language that is full of contradictions and confusions decides to confront Dame, she has every right to damn it. A language that has sat as past tense of sit and chooses to have leaked instead of lack as past tense of leak, has boxes as plural of box and has oxen as plural for ox, boots as plural for boot and feet as plural for foot, teeth for tooth and not beeth for booth, men for man and pans for pan is not a subject a straightforward Madam like our Patience would have patience for.
