By Bosede Ola-Samuel
Emotions drive humans. Our actions and responses to the actions of others are driven by our emotions. Emotions therefore determine many of the outcomes of our human endeavours. Whether we will succeed or fall in life will, to a great extent, be the outcome of our emotions. It’s therefore highly essential for everyone to make conscious efforts to manage their emotions. This is also needful if marriages will succeed and be enjoyed by those who engage in it.
What are emotions?
Emotions are complex psychological and physiological states that influence our thoughts, behaviours, and interactions with others. They are automatic responses to internal or external stimuli shaped by our experiences, culture, and biology. That is why I wrote earlier here that emotions are determinants of our behaviours in life’s journey, and the outcome of such behaviours determines our success or failure.
Concerning marriage, emotions are responsible for the successes or failures we experience.
Let me be a bit practical about it. In the Bible, we have an example of Abraham and Sarah about how they handled their challenge of barrenness. They were overwhelmed by shame, such that Sarah offered Abraham her maid as a wife, and Abraham accepted the offer. They wanted to take away their reproach by that action. But they didn’t think through what the consequences would be. They forgot that in numerology, what comes after 6, is not just 7. We have 8, 9,10,11,12 etc. That is why in my tribe, it’s stated thus, “Ohun ti o wa leyin efa, o ju eje lo”. It simply means we must think through our actions before engagement.
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The husband who beats his wife and the wife who verbally abuses her husband are driven by anger to act that way. Adultery is a thing of emotion. A wife meets an ex, and in a moment of emotional tipsy, she gets into bed with him. A husband who sleeps with his housemaid is also driven by his emotions. All these are why marriages crumble or are being endured instead of enjoyed.
It is, therefore, needful for couples to understand their emotions and be proactive in their behaviours.
Types of emotions
We have the common and obvious ones and the uncommon and non-obvious ones. These are
- Happiness, 2. Sadness, 3. Anger, 4. Fear, 5. Surprise, 6. Disgust, 7. Jealousy, 8. Guilt, 9. Shame, 10. Empathy, 11 Sympathy, 12. Excitement, etc.
These must be understood and properly managed for us to enjoy our relationships, especially marriage. To do this, we need to know the following about emotions
*Emotions are personal and subjective. It’s relative to individuals. That’s why we are different from one another.
*Emotions trigger physical reactions, such as changes in heart rate, facial expressions, and hormone levels. In essence, they are responsible for rapid heartbeats, s3xual pleasure, hard looks, body language, vocal tone, etc.
*Emotions can shift rapidly, changing in intensity and quality with time.
The ability to manage these emotions will go a long way in determining the health of the marriage. Each couple must pay attention to managing their emotions so that they can sing a song of peace, love and joy in the marriage.
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You can avail yourself of copies of my books ‘Enjoying Great S3x Life’ and How To Help Your Wife Enjoy S3x’. Contact 08112658560 for details. SMS only.
