“Wetin dey happen my broda? Long time to hear from you!”
“Nothing dey happen, I just dey observe this APC government!”
“Observing wetin? You this PDP guy don come again?”
“You know my wahala with you? Can I tell you now?”
“Always reasoning from the prism of PDP and APC ideology.”
“E ma bi nu oo..apology for my type of reasoning.”
“You never hear the latest news in town?”
“Dem don catch Shekau guy?”
“Oh my God! You’re not aware of Fulani invasion of Enugu, the heartland of the Igbo people.”
“Igbo people or Biafra people?”
“Yeye man! Craze don dey worry you small small.I said Enugu state in South east Nigeria not Biafra.”
“Fulani herdsmen have been attacking some parts of the country and nothing happened yet…”
“You’re a joker. I trust the Igbo people to fight back by all means.”
“Fight back wetin?Wetin happen to pro-Biafra protesters? Where is Nnamdi Kanu today? This Baba Daura no send any baga I tell you.”
“You’re talkiing nonsense! I am sure Igbo people are going to fight back.Igbo people are not cowards and they cannot fold arms like the Agatu people of Benue state.I trust them to retaliate soon.”
“As you dey talk now, DSS people must be monitoring you both online and offline.”
“Monitoring for wetin? For stating the reality? Igbo people are going to act in self-defence because these Fulani guys cannot just behave like stone-age killers.”
“Keep on blowing grammar.Please control your tongue and pen!”
“Are we now back to military era? Militocracy Vs Democracy?”
“You’re free to talk anything, just know Buratai is still in power.”
“Buran tashi or Burantai?Anyway,I go try control my tongue.”
“Maybe these Fulani guys are just helping with population control before 2019 election? Who knows if they are closet Boko Haram members?”
“Listen to me…Nigerians are dancing on top of keg of gunpowder and likely to explode and consume everybody,both rich and poor.”
“My brother,this is the best time to move closer to God!We need to pray very well.All our pastors and imams must not sleep!”
“Nigerians and religious hypocrisy, just like Siamese twins.”
“Lest I forget,Prince of Minna is very sick,the old soldier needs all our prayers.I am even on a seven-day dry fasting for the man.”
“Really? You sef chop from his dollars? Let him first confess all his sins and return all the looted funds.That gap-toothed man caused many wahala for Nigeria.”
“I say make you pray for Maradona and you dey talk of sins and looted funds? How you dey take pass examinations as student?”
“You still dey hear from the grey-haired African wizard?”
“Who be that?You always tag people with odd nicknames.”
“Professor Wole Soyinka I mean!”
“The old man is out of circulation at the moment, probably writing another book to attack all his haters and enemies.”
“Anyway,I am currently celebrating 400th years anniversary of William Shakespeare’s death. The only Bard of Stratford-Upon-Avon,the greatest playwright that ever lived.”
“Wetin concern me with Shakespeare? Macbeth go increase the fuel supply in Nigeria?Julius Caesar go pay my house rents?Abegi talk better thing jare.”
“Let me go charge my iphone with the little petrol in my generator. That’s the part of the APC Change.”
“See your big mouth you this PDP apologist…na your government spoil Naija for 16 years and Baba Daura is here to re-organise everything. Stealing is now corruption with Sai Baba!”
“Silence is the best answer to a brainwashed fool like you”
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