Avoid Future Regrets Spare Time For Your Child- By Mallam Musa Da’ud

Alfa Musa

In The Name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Ever Merciful

All Praise is for and to Allah(s.w.t), the Eternal. The Master of creation. The One without a beginning and without ending. Thanks be to Him(s.w.t) for guiding us to the Straight Way, for without Him(s.w.t), we might not have been guided. I thank Him(s.w.t), I praise Him(s.w.t) and I offer salutation on the Noble Messenger Muhammad(s.a.w), the best of Mankind and the Leader of those that were sent to the world. Peace and salutation be upon his family, his household, his companion and the rest of us that followed him till the Day of Ressurection, Amin

Let me begin this from the Glorious Qur’an (103) Asr 1-3

In The Name Of Allah Most Compassionate Ever Merciful
I swear by the Time
Man is certainly in a state of loss.
Except those who believed and did righteous deeds, and exhort each other to follow Truth, and exhorted each other to be patient


Mother and Child are a nice sight to behold. Observing a woman in pregnancy and the wonderful process of delivery aptly named ‘Labour’ is nothing but miracle of the Most High – Allah(The Master of Creation).
However, as interesting and as miraculous as bringing a child to the world is, there is no doubt that it has its challenges. Our Fore-Parents, with little or no book learning were able not only nurture but they also succeeded in impacting moral values on the child. A task modern parents, with all the academic advantage placed at her disposal, is not only failing, it has completely failed in moral development in spite of it’s chains of Degrees, Glazed  Certificates and plaques on display.
Do you give what you do not have? To raise a pious, dedicated and successful child within a family, the mother in particular need to be: Focused, Endure, patient, persevere. But all these the modern parents especially mothers has zero %.

Initially, mothers were reading cookery books to prepare , nowadays it is Junk foods from the eateries that today’s mother offer as meal to children. You will be surprised husbands too are eating pastries as meal. Who will now nurture the child and with what, housemaid or houseboy? Topic for another day.
Be that as it may, the need to ‘give- all’ to the child is what every parent intended and that is what every child wanted from the parents. The irony of life is that what some Parents offer the child is not what will necessarily benefit the the child. Every parents want a child to dress in the ‘best’ of attires, eat the ‘best’ of food and attend the ‘best’ of School among other desires. However, it is interesting to access the ‘best’ in all of these but, and that is a BIG But, best Food, best Clothes, or best School  might not necessarily  turnout to be good Food, Clothes or School.
If it is not good, then it will certainly not benefit the child or his Parents. Neither will it benefit the Nation.
Junks foods from the restaurant or eateries: ice creams, cakes and mineral or soda drinks including pastries are what some Parents sadly though, defined as best food. The weekend father is even proud to say he is taking the family out on a treat. Eating of Junk a treat, or a threat? Which is it?
What good the aforementioned ‘treats’ will do to the child is only known to the diseases that will manifest in future. Which makes it a threat. You know obesity, diabetics, bp, hyperactivity, identity problem, hormonal imbalance, migraine etc…
Another ‘good’ sense of the parent is the expensive dress or the exotic cars. For you to know that the expensive clothes is meaningless to the child is the fact that as you put the cloth on your baby’s neck, she is pouring sand, oil, milk or cream on it depending on the status of the parents and the surrounding environment.
The expensive Cars? He either use it as carrier for opposite gender or stunting as a reckless driver. Your expensive Car is seen as a toy, multi- Million Naira Car as a toy! Heart attack is not far from such a Parent.
In terms of expensive School, you find the product of these expensive schools turning out with low quality moral value, yet the parents feels satisfied when the Fees were being paid but dissatisfied with the total outcome of the child. That is even for a Parent that is still with some modicum of ethics, not those that takes public fund as extension of their pockets. Should it happen that the parent has a warped notion of success, the products of the expensive schooling is what you are seeing on the social media and economic landscape of the Nation!
What all of these points to is that spending plenty of time with the child is of more value compared to spending plenty of money on the child.

 The basic resource of the Family is essentially that of Time. Interestingly, every family has 24hours to expend on self, family, work and other activity within a- day.


If you spent plenty money on 3D Television, you have just added to your sorrow. You will end up with a child that does not know his parents and a parents that set out to fail from onset.
Great wealth have always been an issue, those that have it have a thinking that it will buy for them happiness while those that is yet to make ‘great’ fortune have a thought that there is no ‘good life’ without great wealth.
The reality is that while valuable time is spent to make great wealth, valuable time is also missed, time that could have been spent in grooming the family and making positive interaction with the child is lost.

Yes, the child, every child enjoys parental attention and it has a long-term effect, high return on investment, unlike mismanaged great wealth that has low return on investment for the child’s mental and social development and of course, spiritual standing.


I have had occasion to listen to high-flyer working couple, to convince themselves that they are given their best, when you ask how S(he) is coping, she is quick to say:” I prepare a-week food, put it in the freezer, there is Microwave and I have packed the foods, all that is needed to be done is to warm it. Every weekend I plan a week food ahead and when I am chanced  i take the children out to have fun, we all have a great time, in short, I spend quality time with my children!

Perhaps, you need to know and the Goverment should start planning for the future Nigerian and Nigeria by realizing the fact that “The Ideal Day Care Centre” is your home while the best Care giver is the Mother of the Child! Any other option is second best, not the best!


THE IDEAL DAY / BABY CARE

Choosing the very best sitter for your baby is not an easy job: Someone who will love your child, nourish your child, teach your child, comfort your child, listen to your child, feed your child the proper foods, give your child plenty of attention, supervise your child, play an age appropriate game with your child, developmental skills and activities appropriate for your child; keep your child clean, interact with your child, read to your child, play with your child and talk to your child.


The demands are great and no one can meet the demand of such responsibility like YOU, THE MOTHER of the Child.
You are the ideal sitter and care-giver for your child. It will pay rich dividends if you take the job. What an awesome and worthwhile investment it will prove to be!
Before the ‘liberators’ take over the floor, let me quickly let them know that rat- race is not helping the family or the Nation. Therefore, appropriate Job description for married women that intend to raise a model family should be that Time is allotted to the Family and possibly pay the mother the worth of her Certificate while she nurture the future Leader! What investment is better than this for a Nation desirous of positive development!
For those that cannot see beyond the immediate –
Suratul Hadiyat (100:6-11) It has a Message for you!
Man indeed is very ungrateful to his Lord
It is an act of ingratitude when you have a child and you denied him paternity
It is an act of ingratitude when you drop her inside gutter,  waste bin or
You denied him education, moral, spiritual and vocational education.
You abort the pregnancy
You maltreat the other spouse
It is this negative nature in mankind that makes someone that believe not in God a very confused personality

And He himself is a witness to that fact
Ask any woman that have been serially disappointed by Men what she thinks of Men?
She will tell you that Men! Uh, they are bad!
Ask the Man that serially sleeps changed women like wrapper
He too, without shame will tell you there is no better Woman!
Man is very ungrateful to his Lord and this fact he is a witness to ( so says the Glorious Qur’an)

And in his love for wealth he is very intense
Every man that instigate serial abortion will tell you he cannot settle down now
He want to make enough to make his family comfortable, ok oo
For every woman that is passed from one bed to another, ask her why?
She too is searching for the greener pastures or I want to ‘catch’ some ‘fun’
In all of these, gambling, lottery, drugs, nudity, backbiting, slander, are part of the game.  Oh la    la, humankind.
When he has gotten the child, and he has made the money, there will be no sufficient time left for the child
He / she is busy pursuing wealth, power and fame
At the end of the day, you end up with a child that does not know his father, does not recognize his mother, and ready to listen to one Oyinbo to tell him foreign Land is better for him, that good, sweet father’s Land, Nigeria is a ‘dark’ Continent!


Night does not follow daytime is Oyinbo land?

Does he not then know, (what will happen), when all that is in the graves is overturned?
Old age will come
Sickness might follow
Death is inevitable no matter how many wire is fixed on the soul about to depart the world
To the soil you are back with regrets . . .

And all that is contained in the hearts will be exposed
Things that you do to get to where you are is clear to you
It is also clear to Allah
And on Judgment Day, Allah (s.w.t) will show you your files intact

Surely your Lord that Day is aware of them
Nothing is hidden from Allah
Why don’t you take time to reflect
Reflect on the spiritual and economic value of time
Enjoy the time with your child and spouse
Perchance a solid family is build
A solid family is a united family
A united family is a united Nation

        And a united Nation is a successful Nation, and I mean Nigerian Nation irrespective of tribe or culture will succeed. That is certainly my prayer. Let us walk the talk


The essence of life is to be aware that ‘To avoid future regrets, you need to spend Time with your child’. Time is an invaluable investment, use it wisely for the child, the child might not need plenty of your money. Think wisely. 

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